I Stop for Turtles, Frogs, Sticks, Big Leaves...and Hitchhikers

Most of you might be wondering just how exciting a road trip from Pryor, Oklahoma, to Denver, Colorado, can be. Well, I'm telling you...with the right company, it can be absolutely outstanding! Now the title to this post might have you a little freaked out. Especially since most of you know I have occasionally stopped to pick up a hitchhiker or two. I actually didn't get the opportunity to pick up one because believe it or not, there weren't any. Actually, most of the road trip was a little...boring. Along the way, I was trying to figure out what about this portion of my adventure I was going to share with you. Then, I noticed something very strange, strange enough to make me stop on the highway, do a U-turn (I know, highly illegal, I'm sure) and go back to take pictures. Then, just like that! it hit me.

The following are funny, stupid, bizarre, and unusual signs and bumper stickers I saw along the way. I have also thrown in a few statistics that you will no doubt have no use for at any time during your lifetime. You might wonder how I managed to remember all these. Can you believe that my crafty little crackberry phone will let me leave myself a voice note? Ha! Problem solved...no driving 90 miles an hour, petting Hank, drinking water, and jotting down notes all at the same time for this safety girl! Unfortunately, I'm not sophisticated enough to upload my voice notes into youtube.com and add it to my blog (that was Julie's clever suggestion). So, I will translate...

Are you man enough to be a nurse? ~ billboard in Salina, Kansas

Steak sandwich $2.99 ~ advertisement for the Morrison Cafe, Morrison, Oklahoma (I'm not sure about you but I don't know if it's really a steak at that price.)

Arrest a Pest Extermination Company ~ on the side of a truck in Wichita, Kansas

This vehicle stops at all garage sales ~ bumper sticker (How long has this one been out?)

Number of dog tracks passed: 2

Say no to cheap freight ~ sign on the back of a semi-trailer

Number of big boy chimney cleaners in a tuxedo and top hat: 1 (Seriously, think big boy hamburgers.)

Number of Mary Kay PINK cars on the road: 1

Number of wrong turns: 3 (If my GPS had been working I'm sure there'd have been more.)

You'll like it. Try American Lamb ~ Small sign outside of Newton, Kansas (Is this supposed to be the other white meat?)

Number of carsick dogs and little girls: None! Yahoo!

Number of bad drivers on the road: Too many to count

I love my dog ~ bumper sticker (And no, it wasn't on my vehicle.)

Oz Museum ~ sign somewhere in Kansas, complete with the Tin Man, to think about it!

Beef. It's what's for dinner. ~ sign out in the middle of nowhere, Kansas

Free land for homes and businesses ~ sign in Lincoln County, Kansas (There's a reason why they're giving it away.)

Number of windmills: 22 (Oh never mind! Way too many to count after topping the hill.)

Next Mile Deer Crossing ~ Sign in western Kansas (Do they train them to only cross here?)

Number of dead deer within one mile of Next Mile Deer Crossing sign: 1 (They weren't kidding.)

Number of states with slow drivers represented on the road: 18

Number of vehicles that passed me on the road: 1 (And guess where they were from...Texas.)

Colby. Oasis on the plains. ~ Very large sign in western Kansas. (I drove through there. It didn't look like an oasis to me!)

Number of potty breaks: 6

Car insurance doesn't have to be a pain in the bumper. ~ Shelter Insurance billboard

If you die today, where will you spend eternity? ~ Billboard in Kansas (Definitely something to ponder about out on the open road.)

Choose life. Your parents did. ~ Sign in Hays, Kansas

See the world's largest prairie dog. Entrance 37 miles. ~ Sign along the road in Kansas. (I saw this place and it looked like something out of Deliverance...I didn't stop as tempting as it was.)

Taco John's: A fresh taste of West-Mex. ~Fast food joint in Colby, Kansas (What the heck is West-Mex??? Sounds very authentic to me.)

Rest area next exit, wireless internet ~ middle of nowhere, Kansas (People can get interest access out here and not in Strang, America?)

Cowgirls rule ~ bumper sticker

I stop for turtles, frogs, sticks, and big leaves ~ bumper sticker (I'm still not quite sure about that one, other than don't follow too close.)

And my personal favorite, a bumper sticker on the storage box on top of Amy's Tahoe (the amazing girl who found Hank a home)...
My Labrador Retriever is smarter than your honor student.

And last but not least, the reason for this unbelievably intelligent and witty dialogue (even I'm smiling now) which is located in Perry, Oklahoma. I got some sketchy information from my friend Marvin, whom I dropped in on at First Bank and Trust in Perry. Not directly on my way, but boy am I sure glad I stopped by to surprise him! Apparently there's a huge conspiracy in the seemingly pleasant and friendly Oklahoma countryside in Noble County. I think Marvin knows more than he's giving up...at least he looks pretty guilty in this picture. I'll let you decide...


Marvin and I had a great time hanging out in Perry. We ate lunch at the Kumback Cafe which recently celebrated it's 82nd year. I'll be in Colorado, or Cowowado as Hank calls it, until Friday evening when I'll head to the airport to meet Ben and Angelique in Sin City.

Hank is at this very moment meeting his new family and hopefully making a great impression. I sure hope they don't forget to shut the car door, well, maybe I do, then they'll have no choice but to take him home! He really is a good boy and a great traveling companion. Every so often he would sit up really straight and look around as if to say "Are we dare yet?" Then he'd lay back down and take another nap.

But for now, Julie and I are enjoying late night conversations, lots of laughs, and good clean fun. We have also been terrorizing the locals who frequent the Aurora Super Target and Cold Stone Creamery. See pictures for proof! I also took the time on Thursday to hit the road in the Cruiser and head to Edwards to visit my friend Jeremy. I caught up with him at work and he took a non-standard lunch break with me to ponder the meaning of life and get caught up. Just as a side note...I did drive by Frisco on the way. Gee, I really like that place...the mountains, a lake (which would be perfect for my 22' Catalina), and plenty of fun for pups and little girls. If I can only find five roommates I'll be there by next spring!